Life's a Journey

When I first saw the second pink line on the beautiful spring morning on May 19, I was overcome with joy. (This is a story in itself that I will have to post later.) This is exactly what Ryan and I had been hoping for...dreaming for, since the day we decided we wanted to be together forever. It was never a question of "if" we are going to have kids, but "when?"

Being a high school teacher, I thought it would be best if we timed it so that the baby would come during the second semester of school. Well it was a success. Our due date would be January 25, 2012. That is when our miracle is to join a loving mother, father, and even an anxious little jack russell. (yes, i'm convinced she's completely aware and excited as well.)

We wanted to wait to tell the family until Father's Day, which would be exactly one month from the day we found out we were pregnant. I would be 8 weeks by then, with an ultrasound and doctor's visit under our belt, we would have peace of mind that we were progressing with a healthy pregnancy. This was our plan.

However, God works in mysterious ways. On Tuesday May 24, just four days after we got the Big Fat Positive, I found out that God had a much different plan than we did. Due to budget cuts in the Avon School Systems, I was told that I was being RIF'd. I was completely caught off guard. My first thought was the baby. Is the baby going to be ok after getting this bomb dropped on me? How am I going to keep my stress levels down? How am I going to have health coverage throughout my entire pregnancy. Oh, ye who have little faith. Little did I know during my shock and panic, that God had a much bigger plan for the Robinson family.

Believe it or not, this was Tuesday's daily Bible verse that I had taken a picture of that very morning to send to Ryan before I got the news. It still brings tears to my eyes when I read it because He was already showing me that He had it under control.

I called my family immediately after talking to Ryan and telling him about that terrible meeting with the two superintendents and my principal (who held me in his arms and cried with me- talk about compassion). With Ryan's blessing, I met my family (Mom, Dad, Kara and Ryan Matthews) in Florida that very day. Dad flew me down because he knew I was in such a state of distress that I couldn't stay in Avon. I arrived at the Sarasota airport at 5:30 p.m. Dad and Ryan M. picked me up from the airport because I was now going to be an intricate part in what would be one of my baby sister's milestone life moments. Ryan M. was going to PROPOSE to my Kara that night. And I was going to witness it. Wow. My heart couldn't handle that much emotion and my head couldn't comprehend it. But I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to be there...and even more, I was the only one who documented it through video! It was so incredibly special to see my sister so happy. It was so apparent even through the hazy darkness I felt that day. Nothing can overshadow my joy for her. May 24 will forever be HER day. That is how it will be remembered.

Ryan proposed to Kara at sunset on our beach in front of Palm Bay Club. After she of course said yes, we went out to one of our favorite restaurants, Roy's. Ryan and I had decided before he dropped me off at the airport that when I got down to Florida, I was going to tell the family our good news, so that I could have more emotional support and understanding during such a confusing time.

So there at Roy's, I put Ryan on speaker phone and announced our great news to the family. The first person to say anything was Ryan M. He yelled out, "I'm going to be an Uncle!" I loved it. The more surprising reaction of the bunch was my dad's. His jaw dropped and was speechless for at least a minute. I'm pretty sure I've never seen my dad speechless about anything. I knew it was a good speechless because since the day Ryan and I said "I do" he has wanted us to try and give him a grandbaby. He was just so overcome with emotion from the day. He later told me he was so thankful to have good news for me too. Mom actually already knew, so she was relieved and joyful and Kara was beaming!

So the day was a blessing in the end. It was only the beginning of the road to recovery after being laid off from my job. I tried to keep it in perspective by remembering that it was only a job and my family and my baby were forever. But I also kept thinking that I will miss my friends. I will miss my kids. And I will miss my ability to constantly be involved and grow in the world of academia. (I truly am a nerd at heart.) However, this is not the end for my passion in Geography. I will continue to learn and discover more of this love in many more avenues. But on this day, I was still hurting. It won't be forever but I needed to heal. The best way for me to do that? I signed up for Real Estate licensing classes the next day. Thanks to the blessing of my dad welcoming me with open arms on his team, I could say, F.C. I come. The Robinsons have arrived. The horizon is very bright.

1 comment:

  1. I have heard this series of stories a hundred times, but hearing it from your perspective made me cry! I love you and that little one growing inside of you (and of course you too Ryan!)